red light.

Random and sad, but there's this communication tower about 2 miles from my house with a red flashing light atop it.
I live across the street from my old neighborhood.
I remember looking at that light form my bedroom window as a child/teenager and seeing it as a sort of beacon of hope. Like if I could somehow sneak out in the middle of the night through a window and run to the tower, I'd be safe forever.
I never made it there.
But I made it here. And I still can see it flashing red when I go out for a smoke at night. But now I'm safe.

Read more...

oh, the humans.

We're all in this world just trying to get through. We are trying to form relationships the best we know how. Day to day, hour to hour. It can be daunting. I try to see the good in people. But, they make it difficult.

And confrontation is the worst. I try to avoid it it at all cost.

Life so simply boils down to people, language, THINKING before we speak? Emotional regulation. Regulation. Regulation.
Tact?
Yes, all of the above.

Read more...

vacations end and spring feels like summer

I had a nice, long seven-day vacation from work last week. I never wanted it to end. Me and my hubby fantasized about being without jobs for the rest of our lives, living on love, movies, video games, and good beer-- having hobbies like lounging by the baby pool, getting magnificent coffee drinks each morning, eyeballing random reading material, baking brownies, and blowing bubbles. Ah- that's the life, I tell you.
Then reality set in, seven days passed, and we had to head back to work.

So I guess now we'll go and make the money to buy our brownies, bubbles, and the like.

I had a wonderful, much-need vacation to say the least. We spent three days in Savannah/Tybee Island. It was a great getaway, and very cool minus the sporadic two-year old tantrums, the fork-throwing incident at The Breakfast Club, and my time being stolen away from me on River Street, but hey.. he's two, he's a needy little whiny ass sometimes and there will be other trips. There will be childless vacations in the future! That's what got me through the agony of not being able to browse my favorite market place that first day.. sigh.

For the past few days, it has proven to be a typical hot Georgia spring - low 80's. I've been taking my little vacation-damper outside.. (joking! he made vacation fun and enthralling!) in the backyard and turning on the sprinkler, filling up the baby pool, and lounging in my chair, chilling.. feeling the breeze and hearing the birds chirp. Every now and then, he'll jump onto my tummy, rest his head on my chest and I'll tell him stories about Suzie the doggy. He listens intently and nods.
Life can be so sweet.

Read more...

Happiness is..

No, I won't say a warm gun, though something in me is dying to.

Happiness is the way my son's smile beams in the morning when he looks over at me.
The first sip from the perfect cup of coffee.
Drinking the milk after you've had really good cereal.
Laughing at my husband's humor.
The feeling I have on the day before I have a day off work.
Looking at a beautiful batch of pictures I've just taken and finding my favorites.
Getting (real) mail from someone special and feeling loved.
Running into someone you've genuinely missed and getting a hug.
Being in a different surrounding on a vacation and knowing you have not a single obligation.
Having my husband tell me I'm a good cook.
The first morning it is cold and feels like a proper winter.
Watching my son learn something new.
The way I feel after a great workout.
Date night.
Curling up with a good book and some quiet.
Looking through old cookbooks with my mother in law.
Buying new undies.
Being productive and feeling proud of myself.
Seeing the flowers in my yard bloom year after year.
The cold side of the pillow.
Chocolate.
Good music.

Read more...

parade

Sheesh, I haven't updated this thing in a few days, have I?

My weekend was pretty work-filled. They always are, as I work overnights every Saturday. I stay exhausted and crabby usually on weekends, the two days are definitely not my fun time. My TGIF is more like TGIT, on Tuesday.

However, we did take my son to my city's Christmas Parade on Saturday. It was enjoyable but my butt hurt something fierce by the time an hour and a half passed and I was able to get up off the curb where we were sitting.
Jared the Subway guy was there! I thought that was pretty cool. There was also this guy who makes his own bicycle contraptions who was turning somersaults in the street. Very interesting. And my hubby got a picture with a storm trooper.

I can't believe it's December already. Nearly 2008. Where does it go..

I've been going to the gym for an entire month already. I've increased weight on about four of the machines I use. I amaze myself sometimes, I suppose I was pretty strong to start with. Go me.

Read more...